I recently attended Mom 2.0 Summit (yes, my posts on that event are coming soon), and spent the entire trip riddled with guilt. So much so that it affected my ability to learn, network, and really let loose and have a good time with this group of like-minded and motivated women. To a degree, it was opportunity and $1500 wasted.
Why was I guilty? Simple. It’s because I wasn’t home taking care of my husband, kids, and home. I was doing something just for me, and I couldn’t even enjoy it. Don’t laugh. It’s true. And I can’t shake the feeling.
Is this how all moms feel? Or just ones that are home with their kids? Does every trip to the stylist, vacation sans family, or just few minutes alone on the toilet have to be embedded in guilt? Why can’t I enjoy anything fully anymore?
There was a panel at Mom 2.0 that I so regret not attending. I was reminded of it today when I saw (my favorite mom blogger) FaintStarLite’s post “Bad Mothers” which included excerpts from a Mom 2.0 panel of self-proclaimed “bad mothers” that talked about how it’s ok to not be June Cleaver with the patience and the aprons, and that it’s normal that we think of ourselves as a mother among other things – a writer, a businesswoman, whatever.
When I saw this panel on the agenda for the summit, I looked right past it. “I know I’m not a perfect mom and that I don’t have to be. I don’t need a therapy session,” I told myself, and went to a more comfortable panel focused on something nice and geeky, I’m sure. Now here I sit, 2 weeks later and fresh from a good cry, because I feel guilty that I am not patient enough with my kids and that much of the time I’m on the floor playing with them I can’t get my mind off of a website I’m building or my next blog post.
But I quit my corporate job to be at home with my kids. No, I didn’t. I quit my corporate job so that I didn’t have to do one more thing that someone else wanted me to do that I really didn’t want to do. A benefit is that I get to be home with my kids, but truly I quit my job so that there was room for me in my life. Now if I could just learn to sit back and enjoy the “me” time and build my business without the intense guilt, I think my whole family would benefit.
This is a work in progress for me, and I do hope there comes a time when I can shake this guilt. I believe that every parent desires and needs time away from their kids. This doesn’t mean we don’t love and adore them, but it means we need some recharge time so that we are at our best when we are with them.
I’m hoping to make it to Austin in a couple weeks for South by Southwest Interactive and I’d love to go without guilt strapped to my back. I know this choice is mine. I’ll let you know how it goes.
One small step for me, one giant leap for womankind? Eh, not so much, but I did get some good news today in response to my email to O’Hare Airport regarding my seemingly ignored call for help about a week ago. Read my original post here: Warning to Women – No Response to Call for Help at O’Hare.
They have agreed to issue a refund for my entire parking bill, but they also stood by the statement that they have plenty of security officers and patrols in place in the airport and lots 24 hours per day. They said that in the recent past, the worst occurence of violence has been some vandalism to a vehicle. Good to hear, I guess, but I still didn’t see any officers on foot or on patrol, and I did see a gang and a homeless man sleeping in the walkway.
In the end, I still issue the same warning I offered last week to women to NOT travel alone through O’Hare (or most areas) late at night. I still kick myself for not just having someone else transport me to/from the airport, but hindsight is always 20/20. Lesson learned!
Many of you know that Mike and I are the goto people in our circle of family and friends when it comes to computer repair. We’ve had about 40 computers pass through our home in the past year. Every one left in like-new or better condition save one, only because the owner chose not to spend the money on a hardware replacement needed on an archaic laptop.
When we get a computer that has a virus or other software related issue, we almost always just back up the client’s data, run Kill Disk, and then reinstall the operating system or run the recovery disks. Running Kill Disk is one of those anal things that we’ve always done because it ensures that the hard drive is blank before reinstalling the OS and other software. There will be no rogue viruses or data hiding on the drive – run Kill Disk and wash it all away.
Kill Disk has a free version of the software, which is what we’ve always used (single pass zero writing is only permitted, vs. several passes in the paid version). Create your own bootable Kill Disk by going to the Kill Disk website and choosing the option that is right for you. Detailed instructions are towards the bottom of the linked page.
Kill Disk works by writing zeroes to every sector of the hard drive. Once you run Kill Disk, your data is gone…for good. So always remember to do a thorough backup of all of your data ongoing and do a triple-check before running Kill Disk.
Another way we’ve used Kill Disk is to blank out hard drives before destroying or recycling them. This ensures that no personal information is left on the drive that any person with ill intents may try to recover and use (i.e. credit card numbers, personal photos, etc.).
Overall, we’ve been extremely happy with Kill Disk. It is extremely powerful and reliable, and we have not had any issues with the software at all.
Disclaimer: Mike and I have written this honest review and are submitting it to Active@ Kill Disk to obtain a free copy of the paid version of the software.
First and foremost, I would like to thank the people who made this less of a nightmare than it could have been. Mom, thank you for coming to watch the kids while Mike came to pick me up. Mike, thank you for coming to pick me up. Shelly and Mitch, thank you for your quick responses to my tweets about being stranded (Lake County peeps are the BEST – THEY have got your back…). Friends/neighbors Farrah and Jill, thank you for also letting me know that you guys are here for us when we’re in a pickle! And last but not last to my dad Steve, who drove Mike to the airport and waited for 6 hours for a tow truck to come on Sunday…bless you…
I flew home into O’Hare from Mom 2.0 Summit this past Saturday night, and upon getting into my vehicle quickly noted that it was not going to start for me. I was still a bit shaky from the walk out to my car at 10:30pm, but to have this happen totally freaked me out. I called the number on the back of the parking ticket to take advantage of the free jump starts offered on signs throughout the parking areas. The person on the other end took down the details of my location and my car type and said someone would be there to help in a few minutes. Thirty minutes later, when still no one had arrived and I couldn’t control the shaking in my hands anymore, I braved the lonely walk back into the terminal (past a gang and a tired homeless man sleeping in the middle of one of the corridors) and waited for Mike to arrive to pick me up. I feel lucky to have made it through all of that safely. On my whole walk out to the car, while sitting in the car, and on my walk back to the terminal, I never saw one security or police officer. Glad to know someone’s got a woman’s back on a late Saturday night.
Now I’m typically no ninny. I don’t walk around scared that someone’s going to knock me off at every street corner, but the tunnels and lots of O’Hare are scary late at night. It’s quiet and mostly empty, and the people you do see around don’t look like someone I’d go have a cup of joe with. But come on, guys – a woman CALLS FOR HELP and you don’t come? Wake up call for me. I will now be a ninny when it comes to travelling alone at night.
Mike and my dad went back to the car on Sunday to see if they could work some magic and if they couldn’t fix the truck, have it towed back up north to Dick Strang Automotive in Waukegan (love these guys – my Yelp review is here). They weren’t able to fix it themselves. By the time they arranged for a reasonably priced tow truck with the capability to get the truck down the circle ramps at O’Hare, they didn’t much have the effort to complain about my lost call the night before. But, I am making it a priority this week to let this issue to be known to both O’Hare Airport and their travelers. At the very least I’d like to raise awareness about the lack of security at O’Hare late at night, and encourage women (and men for that matter) to avoid travelling in/out of there alone late at night. I’d also be very happy if O’Hare refunded my ridiculous parking charge, 1/3 of which was due to the car having to sit overnight dead.
I’ve already made sure to take the survey on O’Hare’s Web site (I won’t flatter them with a link here, though), emailed aviation@flychicago.com (not sure where that’ll end up, but at least the word is getting out – see my letter below), and am writing this blog post which will go out to my Twitter followers and Facebook friends. And of course, word of mouth will be my most powerful tool. Do you think it’ll make a difference? I hope so!
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing to express my extreme disappointment in the lack of response to my call for help this past Saturday, February 20, 2010. I arrived late into O’Hare that night, and when I got to my car could not get it started. The parking lot was barren, so I called the number on the back of my parking ticket for help. The person on the other end said that someone would be there shortly. No one ever arrived. After about 30 minutes I walked back to the terminal. My husband had to come pick me up, and we went back for the car during the day on Sunday.
Being a 31 year old female, I will never travel alone out of O’Hare again. Walking through the tunnels to get to the parking garage is scary enough; I didn’t see one security or police officer at all during my last 2 times at O’Hare. I did, however, see a homeless man sleeping in the middle of the walkway, and a gang of 5 men “hanging out” in the tunnel. But most of all, when a woman calls for help from the parking area, someone better come.
At the very least, I would like a refund of my parking fees paid of $124. Please advise on how I can go about obtaining this refund.
Here’s the Google Voice transcript of a voice mail message today from my Aunt Debbie. I kind of know what it’s about, but not really, mostly because I can’t stop giggling at the red italicized part. Here is the whole transcript:
Hey Heather, It’s me. I was just calling about that. Ruben saying I don’t really know anyone. I listened to to acoustics. So I’m at was like 30 Q it with you guys and they displayed like you do, and it’s really good. You know they played at the lake homa la song. Not exactly boring but not exactly loud, and then time he listens to this guy, although I think Michael Coleman and he said he just an awesome guitar player and things like the old B type stuff, so I don’t really think it would be like the place for her and her group to be a be more like her. How cool stick you know if you could do it. But thank you know if it’s not loud music at the wine, barn people are kinda talk and it’s not like the wild thing. So anyway, if you have a chance give me a call. Bye.
I have an iPhone and was more or less happy with the native voice mail app, just as I am with most of the Apple native apps. The only downside to the native app is that you have to listen to it vs. read it, and sometimes things aren’t easily heard with screaming kids around. So when I found out from fellow geek Dan Heinz that I could enable Google Voice Mail and read my messages instead, it sounded like a great option. When someone leaves a voice mail, I get a text message or several, an email with the transcript, and there is even a Google Voice inbox, similar to the Gmail inbox, that can store all of your past voice mail transcripts. The iPhone native app is no longer enabled, so there is no notification there, and I really do miss that. There is an option on texts, emails, and in your Google Voice inbox to listen to the message using Quicktime, which I inevitably do because most times I can’t decipher anything but the main idea of a voice message.
So, since the accuracy isn’t quite there yet with Google Voice, I’m going to abandon the option now. I’ve found I’m doing this with a lot of Google stuff recently (Wave, Buzz, voice mail) – always seems cool at first, but the cool wears off quickly and I end up back at my roots once again. At least I tried.
Do you use Google Voice (or any of the other “cool” new Google apps?)? What is your opinion? Share here!
Quick vlog to let you know about Mom 2.0 Summit in Houston next week. Especially if you are in Chicago or Milwaukee area, hit me up and let’s be travel buds!
This is what I think of now when I think of meat. Chicken poop and lots of drugs.
I watched Oprah’s Food 101 episode a few nights ago, and was quite shocked at how it affected me. The episode was focused on the origins of the foods we eat in America today, and some of the details were plain disgusting.
Graphic videos were shown of chickens stuffed into their coops so tightly that there was no room for them to walk. That didn’t really matter though, because we’ve engineered the birds to be so breast-heavy that anatomically they are not able to walk more than a few steps without needing to sit and rest anyways. Dead birds were mixed with live ones, and the dead served as feed for the living. A cloud of dust that consisted of dander and feces hovered over the chickens, and that was what they breathed. Doesn’t make one want to make a quick stop at Buffalo Wild Wings, now, does it?
The cow situation wasn’t much better. Cows are raised in barns, totally enclosed, for their life until they are slaughtered. They never see the light of day. Activity is discouraged in cattle, also, as that would slow the weight gaining process. A staggering statistic was shown – animals consume about 4x the amount of antibiotics that humans do.
So what is in the meat we eat? Chicken poop and lots of drugs. Great…
I’ve been flirting with the idea of going meat-free for some time, and have done it a few days in a row here and there. I’m on day 3 of my current meat-free cleanse. Will it stick?
My biggest struggle is how to move forward and not let this hinder our food choices at home. If I go meat-free, this has a profound effect on my family. One, I’m not going to cook 2 separate dishes for each meal of the day. Two, how can I feed my kids meat if I won’t put it in my own body?
I’d love to hear your input and advice here. Any good books with kid-friendly and EASY recipes are welcome. I’d especially like to learn to cook with tofu, as I like it and think my kids will too, but cooking with it is completely foreign to me. Thank you in advance for your tips and suggestions!
I feel so compelled to share this video in as many venues as possible, as it is probably one of THE MOST INSPIRATIONAL talks I have ever seen. It is a talk by Simon Sinek from this past September at a TED convention in Puget Sound, and I finally watched it tonight at rYnoweb.com. It is worth all 18 minutes you will spend watching it…
For some of you, I want you to watch and reflect on yourself. Why do you do what you do? How has that worked out for you? Are you happy? Rich? Successful by your definition?
For others, I want you to watch it to understand more of me. Do you now understand more about why I do what I do? And why I believe that this is what makes me different/unique/successful? And why I can’t do it any differently?
Please leave your answers to the questions above in the comments section below the video. Enjoy.
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